Have you ever checked your Facebook from your smart phone while on the toilet? If yes, then you, my friend, have entered into the sacred realm of the original Mom Cave… the bathroom.
There is no real place a mom can go to find solace 100% of the time, but there is a door that can be locked about 50% of the time, buying you up to a 5 minute break. That place is the Mom Cave. No high tech gadgets in here, which is why you need to bring your phone, and that’s just fine. Fancy gadgetry would only attract husbands and children and that is exactly who we are trying to … What’s a nicer word than “avoid”? Evade? Elude? We just want to breathe our own air for a minute.
There have been times when my retreat to the Mom Cave has been so speedy that in my haste I have forgotten any form of entertainment. No iPad, no iPod, no iAnything. In these desperate times I resort to one of my back up plans. These include such mind numbing activities as: reading the back of the shampoo bottle and contemplating rinsing and repeating in the next shower, intensely scrutinizing each of my pores individually in the magnifying mirror, or trying to find fun shapes in the pattern on the bathroom floor or shower curtain. There was once a dodo bird in a rose petal, but I have since gotten a new shower curtain.
My most impressive stretches of time in the Mom Cave are after my husband comes home and I don’t have to worry about any children or pets escaping while I’m in there. It does not; however, free me from being called to solve every minor problem that comes along. For these times, I have a very special plan. I run the shower. There are many benefits to running the shower in the Mom Cave. It almost drowns out the noise from the TV. I can pretend I don’t hear anyone calling for me and I can wait it out until they switch to calling for dad. It makes the bathroom all warm and steamy like a sauna.
You’ve got to be careful with this one. First of all, wasting water is bad, so you better make it count! Second, you’ve got to take a shower or you’re going to blow your cover. If you get too distracted before getting in, you’re going to use up all the hot water while you’re responding to Facebook comments and a cold shower is not worth it. You’re also going to have to come up with a reason why you’re shower took so long. That means you’re going to have to shave your legs past your knees, so don’t get too greedy with your time. You know that I know that you know that we can both shave our legs in 90 seconds dry in the bathroom sink, but try to keep that a secret. “I had to shave my legs” is a great reason for your shower going over by a few minutes.
So the next time life has you stressed out and it’s too early to reach for the wine, hit the Mom Cave. File your nails, tweeze your eyebrows, or just bury your face in your hands and chant, “I am not going crazy”. Go ahead. Everyone deserves a break.
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Crystal Davis lives in the Pacific Northwest where she is a mother first, writer second, and struggling to keep it that way. She spends her days volunteering at her son’s elementary school and adoring her family. You find her writing at www.mamapotamus.net. To help stock your Mom Cave with entertainment (eBooks, regular books, or even a new shower curtain to look at) I'm pleased to be offering a $5 Amazon Gift Card!! Contest ends next Thursday.
